...And If Love Remains

Thru a mass of tears he came to me.

He dried them and cried his own.

The pain between us was intense.

No need to explain it... It was always understood.

Over the miles we talked.

Laughed.

Cried.

Read lyrics that rocked us to our souls.

Bravado.

What does Bravado mean?

It means to take a chance.

To go for it.

To say, hey this is about me here!

I need to do this for me...

and if I loose or gain it all...

It was worth it.

...and if Love remains...

Bravado.

And so into the summer heat we spent.

All the dreams and expectations placed upon us we could never fulfill.

What about what we wanted for ourselves?

Just to be happy.

Happy within our hearts and minds.

To shut the screaming monsters off long enough to hear our own voices.

Shhh...

voices carry.

Dare not we tell anyone about what we desired.

NO!

It did not fit the worlds plans for us.

Just go along with the show.

Conform or be cast out.

Oh Neil... what a way with words.

Play by the rules, or don't play at all.

Don't play?

NO!

It is our life.

Don't we have a say in what happiness is to us?

Can't the world see that we are dying here?

Cant they hear the gasps of our shallow breaths beneath them?

Oh God, we were dying.

Bravado.

Bravado played and played.

It was sung.

Over and over again.

Ultimatums were given.

One was chosen.

Not the one that the world would accept as the right one.

But...

Bravado.

-------

And so I said:

"If you want to come to me... just show up."

You did.

You flew into the night sky to me.

Rapture.

Pure, simple, uncomplicated rapture.

Joy.

The first sight of you is embedded into my brain.

The taste of your mouth,

the feel of your body holding mine,

shall be forever on my skin.

The smell of Patchouli.

Your hair thru my fingers felt like mine.

And Farmer Todd's hands on my butt...

What utter joy.

The world could have ended at that moment...

and I would gave gone willingly.

We loved.

How we loved.

(^:^)

We laughed.

Manoman, how we laughed.

"Hello"

I love you.

I think of our laughs, and nothing makes me love you more than that.

It was all so pure.

Unconditional.

The places we went.

My movies.

Our movies now.

Lions head with the purple and green and black decor.

You said you loved it there.

As do I.

To me, when you take from me simple things that I love, it is the greatest feeling to me.

Here... it's only my movies, but take it.

I am smiling thinking of it now.

Todd 2 ...Nancy 1

Counting Todd's and Nancy's

I will do that till the end of tyme.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUSH.

Thankyou for the gift of Rush.

I will do many things forever because of you.

One, is love you.

The world around me is greener.

My coffee is sweeter. (Is that possible?)

I hear your laughter at that.

All the coffee we drank.

I hear... YUP from the game.

I hear music.

Roxy Music plays now, #3, REPEAT!

I will remember how we made love at my desk to it.

----------

In the spring of your heart Todd...

is green new and fresh.

You have a road ahead of you that is lush and new.

Although the faces are familiar, you are different.

I know you feel the lushness of the grass between your toes.

It grows strong and tall for you to walk upon.

Spread your wings my Eagle, and fly with my moonglow to light your path.

Just always know..

It is your path.

Like Lt. Dan,

you have a destiny.

It is not to die in the fields...

but to go into the world and live with honor.

To Thine Own Self Be True.

I love you Todd.

For the Man that you are...

Just A Man Named Todd.

...And If Love Remains

©

Written By:

Nancy Imelda Schafer

November 15, 1996

Written about Todd and me.

AUTHORS NOTES:

There are none.

The notes are the story.

spyder@pics.com

BRAVADO

If we burn our wings

Flying too close to the sun

If the moment of glory

Is over before it's begun

If the dream is won-

Though everything is lost

We will pay the price,

But we will not count the cost.

When the dust has cleared

And victory denied

A summit too lofty

River a little too wide

If we keep our pride-

Though paradise is lost

We will pay the price,

But we will not count the cost.

And if the music stops

There's only the sound of the rain

All the hope and glory

All the sacrifice in vain

If love remains

Though everything is lost

We will pay the price,

But we will not count the cost.

...and if love remains.

Performed By: RUSH

Lyrics By: Neil Peart

Music By: Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson

From the Album:

"ROLL THE BONES"