She used to be a pretty, young girl
till she took on the weight of the world
with too many choc’late sundae swirls.
Then she grew up: a big, hefty girl.

Townsfolk called her the fat, freckled freak
as tears rolled down her fat, freckled cheeks.
The prospect of love seemed rather bleak.
She was sure she was screwed, so to speak.

She dreamed of soaring so very high,
way up above the clouds in the sky,
higher than a bird could ever fly.
But that dream took on weight and did die.

She tried so hard to get off the ground,
but all that weight always held her down.
Ev’ry day she’d add another pound
to a physique so perfectly round.

And so she gave up her dream to fly
and grew bigger as the years flew by,
adding inches to those thunder thighs
with assorted cakes, cookies and pies.

She hid behind a computer screen
where things aren’t always what they seem.
She liked to be called the Ice Queen,
just a stupid, delusional dream.

But fantasies were all that she had,
and this realization made her sad.
The truth of it all made her so mad
because she had lost all she once had.

Then one day she met a man online.
She saw his picture, thought he was fine.
And what fantastic luck, what a find!
He had a fetish for big behinds!

She flew on a plane, across the sky,
spent the rest of her life with this guy.
So I guess that it’s true, if they try,
pigs really can fly.