Welcome to his hell
it's not a pretty sight

You think you have it bad?
come on,let's go for a walk
down his path
of self-destruction

At night he sleeps
I watch him twist and turn
the bed is not big enough
the night is too long
for an addict

He never sees the sun
he never sees his true reflection
in his pool of tears

I see
I know
I believe

I'll fight
for him to come back

I know he wants to come home

I watch him sweat
his thoughts tortue
every wink of sleep
his thoughts dictate
every move he makes

Moves cut from his demons
led by failure
failure that parks itself
in front of an emergency room

God he's good
too good
for his own good

Never challenge an addict

Through his thirsty veins
sanity once flowed
in every color imaginable
red blue pink white

The weak part of me
wanted to tap into his veins
feel the high of pretty colors
make me numb
as I so often need to be

But what about next time?

He crossed the line
I will not follow

It's time for him
to come home

His veins run dry
his heart beats faster
now his soul is tagged

The sun is starting to shine
even though the darkened sky
he sees light

Sanity now runs
through creases
within his mind
creases lined with love
he sees in my eyes

He scrapes the need
the narcotic need
from crawling flesh

He is coming down

The nightmares began
the cold chills
the constant need
for the drug store calm

I feel helpless

I am angry

I don't understand
how he would choose his addiction
over me

He didn't today
today he chose
to heal

It's one day at a time

Silly me
I told him that my love
was stronger
than any demon living inside him

He laughed
he told me many people before me
tried to 'rescue' him

I said maybe
but this time
there is a difference

His demons
have yet to cross my path

I've been to hell
I've been in his world
I've mingled with the best of demons
I've swallowed every color of the rainbow
walked hand in hand
with death

I've danced with blades
gathered scars
even met a stranger
praying he would kill me

I'd be just another statistic
as my past already made me

I've never had to be the strong one
until now

I guess I should thank my father

Every touch
made me stronger
every drop of blood
made me stronger
every dark room
made me stronger

It's taken me too long
too much pain
too much loss
to be where I am today

It will be okay
it will be okay....