"A Farewell to Grandma"

Oh my dear great grandmother whom I love so much
I don't know what to do with all this hatred, anger and disgust

All this is being kept bottled up inside me
I love you and miss you so much, it's just not fair the way things seem to be

I love you, need you and want you back
Since you've been gone it seems there's something in my life I lack

It's just not fair the way you up and left
It all feels like there's been a grand theft

Someone very precious and dear to me is gone
At times I wonder what's the since of going on

I know I very seldom showed it but I loved you so much
There were so many things I wanted to do for you and for you to see, there was just
so much

Why did it all have to happen so soon
I know you were sick but you got better and was home before noon

You sang and danced the night before
But that was it, there'd be no more

No more songs, dances or laughter but instead only sorrow
All I want now is to go back, go back in time and a day of yesteryear I will borrow


"Becoming A Mother"

Being scared and not knowing what to do
You will never know that feeling until it happens to you

Feeling lost, lonely and scared inside
Knowing this is one secret you can not hide

How do you tell your parents and what about your friends
Soon a new life you will start and this old one you will end

Knowing soon the whole world will know
There's a baby inside you and it's starting to grow

The more it grows the more frighten you become
You can no longer wear your jeans because of a mistake that has been done

You are not married and the people are starting to stare
They look down on you and say, how do you dare

How dare you have a child with no father in his life
How dare you have a baby without first being a wife

How dare you think of raising a child on your own
How could you raise a child when you don't have a home

You now are in maternity clothes and the baby it does show
You can feel a new life in you and when it kicks your face will glow

This is the hardest time and the people they are cruel
They sat the baby you can not raise and if you try you are a fool

They say you are too young and a mother you are not
To have a baby now you will be giving up a lot

All the words that have been said and all the things that have been done
You're starting to have fears and at this point the people they have won

Give your baby up to someone who can't have one
Let your baby have a mom and dad, after all that's how it's done

Always being put down and not a word of encouragement is said
Now even your family wants your baby and it's really messing up your head

The time is now approaching and the baby will soon be here
You're keeping the baby for yourself and inside there's still some fears

You're going to the hospital and soon you will be
A mother with her baby in your arms, the baby you've waited so long to see

As you hold him in your arms this is the happiest moment in your life
You'll prove to the people you can be a good mother without being a wife

Just love that baby with all your heart and then you will find
A special way to love that's truely one of a kind

Remember to love and listen to your child as he grows
Remember to always be there for him whetherhe's young or he's old

Sing to him and play with him and always make sure he knows
How very special and important he is all through life as he goes


"Being Casted Away"

Being turned away when you really need your family and friends
Wondering when this nightmare will ever end

Being put into a home for something has been done
Being casted away as if you were the only one

Taken from your home where you thought there was love and care
You begin to hate your family asking how do they dare

How dare they ask me to come home and then put me away
If no one wanted me why didn't they just say

They put me with strangers and people I don't know
They went home and left me there, that's when the hate began to grow

You start feeling depressed, angry and full of hate
They you stay to yourself and wonder about your fate

At this home that was to be so good for you
People are smoking joints, drinking and fighting until they're black and blue

You stay in your room for fear of your life
Wondering if you should end everything with a gun or a knife

You receive letters but they don't mean a thing
The letters are just words on paper and not love do they bring

You close up and let no one in
Does this really make you a stronger person or does it mean you'll feel hatred until
the end

There's no way to explain the felling a person feels
When it's a dirty trick in life that your family deals

"Tony"

You will always have a very special place in my heart
For you came to me at a time when my world was falling apart

For me there was no one to love and no one to trust
To love someone and have them love you, on this world is a must

To have someone to care for and love with all your heart
Is an important part of life and for me you filled that part

You give me love in everything you say and do
Hugs and kisses are special, especially when they come from you

I love seeing the excitement of life in your face
You're learning everyday and doing so with grace

Everything is new and brings a sparkle to your eyes
Every word is special from your hellos to your good byes

You try so hard to learn and you make mommy so proud
You get so excited and scream your joy so loud

Take time to learn all you can
For soon you'll grow up and be a man

Think of what you do, make sure it's right and not wrong
Find yourself someone to love and live a life that's full and long

Life your life to the fullest and don't let anything stand in your way
Let your life be filled with joy and happiness until your dieing day

"Dreams"

Dreams and nightmares what do they mean
People and places you have never seen

Are they real or are they just a fantasy
Are we really there or are we just a by stander waiting to see

Is it possible our minds leave and we travel elsewhere at night
We go to a different world, sometimes for adventure and others for fright

One night we're in paradise having a secret affair
The next night we're in an alley where fear fills the air

Are we living out our desires and dreams
Or are we really living out our fears with screams

Isn't it funny how we wake up just in time
When in our dream we're dieing but our body is fine

We wake up scared and out of breath
Was sit really a dream or was it a brush with death

How are we for certain a dream is a dream
When, if ever, will we know what they mean

What makes us sure we dream at night
What makes us sure we wake up with the morning light

Could it be possible we're dreaming during the day
Then when night time comes, to home we're on our way

How are you certain we're really not here
Could it be possible we're really there

Maybe we're dreaming and don't really know it
Maybe we're living in two worlds at once to see which one we fit

Maybe when we die that's when the decision has been made
Which world we will live in both at night and day

Who's to say what's real and what's a dream
I only hope that one day I will know just what they mean


"Breaking Point"

What do you do when the breaking point is near
You're all confused and full of fear

You need someone you can talk to, someone who's dear
Even the people you love are no where near

How can you tell who you can trust
When inside things keep building up and you're about to bust

The one you care the most for you can't even talk to
For deep inside you know who he's blaming and the crazy one is you

Everyone needs someone this is one fact you can't hide
It'll only tear you up to keep things bottled up inside

Some people have trouble talking and don't know where to start
For when there's no one there it really breaks your heart

Where do you turn where there's no one there
No one to talk to, no one who cares


"Dream of Death"

I had a dream about six years ago
It was a bad time in my life when I was feeling lonely and low

Just out of the blue the dream I had that night
Still fills me with fear and alot of fright

I was standing in a grave yard, it was windy and cold
The grass had grown up and you could tell it was old

There were no flowers and a branch covered the stone so you couldn't see
Who the person buried here could be

For some reason I just had to know
Who this person was so off I go

As I walked closer the name was hard to see
When I pulled back the branch I couldn't move, just freeze

I bent down and wiped the dust away
What I saw still haunts me to this day

The name was mine and the dates were there
I woke up that night in a state of fear

Born October 1964
Did I die rich or did I die poor

The date of death was not clear
19 9 something, the last number you could not see or hear

The dream came once and never again
Will 1990 really be when my life will end

If it is, how will I die
Will it be violent or in my sleep while I lie

For so long I've had no reason to live
But now I have so many reasons, there's too many to give

I don't want to die, not until I'm old and gray
After my kids are grown and my husband has passed away

When I've seen all the joy life has to give
Oh dear God, I want to live


"Falling Apart"

What do you do when you see your family falling apart
Everyone is fighting each other for a place in the heart

What ever happened to all the love and care
That while I was growing up always was there

What ever happened to us working together
Helping each other through thick and thin no matter what the weather

Sunshine or rain, ice or snow
When someone needed help off we'd do

What happened to the family I shared so much with
We all use to give much more than we'd get

Now that we've all grown and have gone our seperate ways
No one seems to give a dam now a days

You might get help but it's not for free
Things just aren't the way they use to be

You scratch my back and I'll stab yours
Do as I say or there's the door

No one wants to help or keep in touch
What happened to this family that I cared for so much

I guess as you grow up things change
The people and places you grew up with all seem so strange

Is it we're not trying or does anyone really care
The love we once had for each other is no longer there


"Mommy's Little Adam"

You were daddy's pride and joy from the moment you were born
You made us both so happy each time we'd hold you in our arms

We called you our little squirt because you were so small
You were mommy's little baby and brought happiness to us all

You have a big brother to play with, you are such a lucky boy
To be a happy family would bring us so much joy

You keep getting older but don't seem to grow
You worry moment and daddy and make us feel so low

Is it something we have done or is there something wrong
For you to be a big boy is something we've waited for so long

So eat like a little piggy and grow Adam grow
Come back to mommy and daddy where we all love you


"Dad"

All my life you've always been there
To share a smile or wipe away a tear

When I think of you it always brings a smile to my face
There's only one dad and you could never be replaced

I remember you teaching me how to throw a ball
You would tell me I was all right and help me up from a fall

You were there with me when I won my first race
You cheered me up when I came in last place

When I became queen you where there
You taught me how to drive without showing any fear

When I felt I wasn't wanted you showed me where I belonged
You always believed in me whether I was right or wrong

You walked me down the isle on my wedding day
When you love someone so much, you don't always know what to say

You've always been there whether you knew it or not
I know I don't say or show it but I love you alot

As far as dads go you're number one
You're full of strength, wisdom and fun

Dad please don't give up the fight
Without you in my life the future isn't as bright