"Forget Me Not"

her hand that he has held
her mouth that he has kissed
her heart that he has melted
his smile, her cause for bliss
her eyes that he has gazed in
her hair that he has touched
her body, wrapped in his arms
his words, that mean so much

And now I say I love him
and now he doesn't care
And how I gaze upon him
his eyes, his smile, his hair.
And he who does not love me
who lives for only she
my heart will never leave him
though we may never be

And if I die tomorrow 
I shall not die in vain
I'll leave this awful world behind
to end my lifelong pain
I'll leave my soul forever,
my heart with him alone
for I shall be forgotten
as soon as I am gone.

"An Angels Kiss"

I saw an angel fall last night
out of the sky above.
I asked her why she cried those tears
she said she’d lost her love.

It was a very depressing sight,
she could no longer sing.
She tried to fly back home but found
that she had broken her wing.

I mended it, but even then
when she tried again to depart,
I found a much more serious problem.
someone had broken her heart. 

Just then I saw a heavenly light
shine down from far above.
He came to her and called her back
and said it was her he loved.

A beautiful light shone forth from her heart
like roses that bloom in May,
and he swept her up into his arms
and lovingly they flew away.

It was a sight I’ll remember for all my life
and always remember this:
Nothing can heal a broken heart
like an angels kiss.

"In My Heart Forever"

I wanted to tell you I love you today,
But I couldn't seem to get the words out,
As I pass you in the halls I turn 
But I just can't seem to get your attention
And then again, I suppose I didn't try too hard.
I tried to find you at lunch,
But you weren't in your normal seat.
Your friend told me you were upset about something,
And she couldn't find you either.
I almost had her tell you for me,
But decided that I'd better do it in person.
I have to wonder to myself if perhaps you love me too.
I once saw you gazing at me but you
Seemed to be crying at the time.
Maybe that's why I waited this long.
I vowed to tell you in last period, 
Our only class together.
We hated the class,
But I loved it, because it
Brought me to you.
I ran to class to see you,
Waited by your desk, and then the bell rang,
And you weren't there.
I asked your friend where you were.
She told me you had gone home sick.
As I sat in class, I kicked myself
For not telling you earlier,
And swore that today would be the day,
No matter what.
But then again, I'd said that before…
I knew where you lived,
So right after school I drove
Over to see you.
I even bought you a get well teddy bear
Holding a heart that said "I love you beary much."
I thought it would be a special gift 
To go with a very special message.
My grin widened as I saw that your parents 
Weren't home to see my profession of love;
I was always pretty shy. 
I had never been to your house before,
So I would have had a hard time finding
Your room had I not heard your CD player
Playing that song, it seemed familiar.
Oh, yes, it was the song I nearly asked you
To dance with me to.
I remember looking at you, about to
Head over when another girl stopped me
To ask me to dance with her.
I turned her down, and started over to you,
But you had already gone.
I found you all tucked in bed,
Facing away from me towards the window, asleep.
I laid my backpack carefully on the ground
And rounded the bed to see you.
You really did look ill, your face was so white,
I heard a car door and realized that your parents
Must have gotten home to check on you,
So I had to be quick.
I set down the teddy bear without looking, kneeled down
And gently kissed your forehead.
Well, a little too gently, I suppose,
Because you didn't wake.
I shook you a little, and then looked down
To get your perfect white little teddy to present to you…
But the teddy wasn't white.
He had fallen in some juice and was stained
Dark, matching the color of the heart he was holding.
And then I saw your arm hanging off the bed,
And I saw your wrist, dripping red,
And I realized it wasn't juice.
And then I screamed
And screamed
And even when they found us,
I continued screaming in anguish,
And then the tears came,
Followed by the darkness

They told me that you had left two notes
On your bedstand.
One was for your family,
It read:

I'm so sorry for the pain I will cause you.
I only hope that you can take comfort knowing
that my pain, the deep agonizing hurt that
was unbearable for me, the pain you didn't 
even know was there, is over now. I will
never again shed a tear. I'm in heaven with
the angels now. Please remember me for the 
love I held in my heart, the love I never really
had a chance to show. Don't remember me
for this. I love each and every one of you 
deeply, and I will always remain in your hearts.
Always and forever.

The second note, surprisingly, was for me.
It simply stated:
I couldn't stand to love you alone for any longer.

You're too late.

I wanted to tell you I love you today.
It took me this to realize that you already knew.
I didn't need to tell you of my love today,
I needed to show you my love every other day.
And I will carry that with me until the day I die.

"Darkness"

I find myself alone again, 
the darkness is my only friend
she envelopes me in her arms 
and never lets me come to harm
she holds me close and blinds my eyes
and now she is my best disguise
from dealing from the pain inside
when really I just want to hide
and never feel the burning pain
that's almost driving me insane
so hold me close my dearest friend 
and never make me feel again.

"They Never Showed Me"

They never showed me how to feel,
or how to mend my heart.
They never told me how to fly
I've fallen from the start.
They never told me how to smile
when I really want to cry.
Or how do deal with narrow minds
and hold my head up high.
They never told me kids were cruel
or that they'd cause me pain.
They didn't tell me that I could
be hurt again and again.
They didn't tell me that I'd feel
like I'm not good enough,
or give me self-esteem
to give me reason to act tough.
They didn't help me overcome
the problems that I've had.
And that is one of many things 
that's always made me sad.
And if one day I find the truth
then maybe they will see,
I won't share it with them,
for they never showed it to me.

"People Watching"

See that girl sitting in the corner? 
See her sit alone and still?
She looks off in the distance and her
eyes give you a chill.
Dark and blue and sad and lonely
off she stares into deep space,
hoping, wishing she could only
keep the tears off of her face.
Does it bother you to see her
sitting there alone and blue.
Does it bother you to wonder
if she feels the way YOU do?
Maybe if you went to see her
you could wipe the tears from her eyes.
Maybe you could hear her laughter
instead of watching and hearing her cries.
If you don't act on your feelings,
you will never realize
all she wants is someone who
can understand her pain inside.

"Nonsense"

I am an idiot,
Walking a tightrope
Over you.
In every poem I write
You are there.

He told me that
The price of a memory
Is the memory of the sorrow it brings.

The last one out of my life,
Better not forget to lock up
When they leave me.
When the ghosts come back to
Me and haunt me and 
Throw the past back in my face,
I hope I'm not still so afraid. 

A blanket of stars watches
Over my head as I sleep,
Turning dreams to life,
And I don't sleep anymore.

All the razor perceptions
Cut me just a bit too deep, he said
And I can bleed just as well as anyone,
But I need someone to help me sleep.
So I cast a gaze into the sky and try 
To understand it all,
In vain.

I know you don't know me, 
And I know I'm not what I seem,
But if you still want to find out, 
Come and try to know me.
Don't run away from me please.
And I've been there before,
And I've lost everything…
Don't run away.

And the stars above my head
Threaten me.
Threaten to make me sleep again;
Dream again.

You can see inside me 
Just look in my eyes,
But it won't get you very far.

And if I could make it rain today
I'd stand outside and watch 
It fall down,
Like the tears falling from my eyes.
Just to get a change of pace.

I've waited so long,
For someone to take me out
of this life.

Today was just a day fading
Into a night, fading into 
A week, fading into a life.
And what's the point anymore anyway?

It just takes so long to smile.
I don't want to know.

I don't want to know me anymore.
All I want is something good.
Something just for me,
Take a breath, 
Take your time.
Spread my wings and fly.
Close my eyes,
Just to pass the time,
Ease my mind,

Fade into the night.
Tell myeslf that I need 
Something more.
Something good.
I'd think of something better
If I could.

One way or another,
I'm hoping to find
A way to live this life
For just another day.

Come a little closer now,
Don't be too afraid,
See this pain within my eyes.
Can you see it?
Waiting there to be healed?
Don't feel bad, no one else does
Either.

All you want is a place to lay your head.
And now I'm shaking, and you don't see me.
And now I'm scared, and you don't see me.
And now I'm begging you, but you don't see.

I'm thinking about leaving soon.
I've got some things that I just can't say.
Just need someone to talk to me.
And all this time you really don't know
Just how I feel.
You don't know how I feel
You're just trying to get me to stay.
I'm thinking about breaking myself.
Thinking about leaving soon.
I think I've waited way too long.
And I think that you're the only one
Who can stop me.
Only if you try.

"Strong One"

Please try to fight it
you are so strong
though you may not believe it
I know that it's true.
And when you're alone
and the night seems so long
Please know that far away
I'm thinking of you.
And no matter what happens
I hope you can see
that the pain that you feel 
becomes pain for me too.
And whenever your eyes
come to gaze upon me
My heart feels what you feel
it's all it can do.
So always you'll have me
to care for your heart
and if you try to leave 
then you'll realize
that my heart and my soul
they were yours from the start
and my reason to smile
remains in your eyes.

"Calling Me Home"

when everything falls away 
like rain on a window, 
slowly rolling out of me 
outside where the wind blows free 
I look to the sky to find a piece of me 
that I lost to the stars 
and the clouds above 
[big black rolling clouds] 
they take away the sunshine 
[bright bright sun] 
and make the darkness come again 
all it does is blind me 
and when I can't see, I fall. 
[I fall so long and far] 
and when I finally stop falling 
I hit the ground so hard, 
the only light I see is the stars above my head 
gently calling me away from this place, 
gently calling me home.... 

"Don't Look Back on Yesterday"

i sink into his deep blue eyes 
as memories in my solemn mind 
i drift away within the thoughts 
i can't achieve or dream, 
and when i find the bells ring true 
i find myself recalling you 
upon the days when we were one 
as dark comes forth, night falls. 

and given just one final chance 
to sing that song and dance that dance 
i just don't know if i could be 
the things you need me to, 
so go and find the girl you seek 
and i'll stand here with tears on cheek 
waving as you leave behind 
the love you never knew. 

and if you think of me again 
please don't look back, my dearest friend 
for you will find me lying still, 
alone and broken, gone. 

All writing © to author listed here.