"Supposed to Be Mine"

Talking for hours at a time,
What's the matter with this line?
I seem to be going out of my mind,
Weren't you supposed to be mine?

I thought a love like mine was hard to find
Now you're talking for hours at a time,
With a friend who was supposed to be mine,
But hey, weren't you supposed to be mine?

I just need a little peace in my mind.
Maybe another guy won't be hard to find.
Maybe I'm just losing my mind.
Hey, weren't you supposed to be mine?

I need a love of a different kind.
What's so wrong with that line?
Don't pretend everything is fine,
Because I thought you were supposed to be mine.

"This Close to Nature"

The sun shines on my face
I feel the world growing all around me
I have learned to love this place
Because he has finally found me.

The leaves are falling from the trees
And the air is getting cooler
I love how I can feel this free
I love when I'm this close to nature.

An autumn day in my life
Flows through my veins
The wind has blown away the stife
That had me filled with heavy rains.

A cloudy day used to get me down
But now I only have sunny days
He told me to change my frown
And for that, I'm grateful always.

"Sicks Peace"

You know how it is.
You with your sicks peace
and how there were ate of them.
She was so green
so very...white.
Don't let Santa get to you.
We'll both quit soon.
Better things will come for us because we
are the same.
We are the same.
Same people who want different things.
So back to the sicks peace
My tall man.
My love, what would I do without you?
Our forbidden connection
that tears us apart.
That green girl comes between us.
Wonder why she's so white.
Feeling kind of lonely...
In the dark of the night...

"What's the Matter With Me?"

What's the matter with me?
Why am I filled with jealousy?
I know you don't belong to me
but still I'm filled with envy.

We ended it so hideously.
I just didn't want it to be,
a choice between her and me.

But now when I see 
the way it turned out to be,
I'm wishing it was me
You were looking at so lovingly.

"Panic"

I'm scared of my own reaction
To your piercing gaze.
I need a little distraction 
From this crazy masquerade.

I feel my stomach flip
As I watch you from afar.
I wish I'd come better equipped,
From my bleeding, pounding heart.

My hands can't stop shaking,
I need some remedy.
From all the love you're not making,
As you smile so placidly.

I can't even see
What's right in front of me.
I'm out of control,
Somebody STOP me.

"I'll Be There"

If you ever feel like you can't take yourself anymore...
I'll be there.
If you ever come back to consciousness...
I'll be there.
If you ever feel as if you've changed too much...
I'll be there.
If you ever get sick of him...
I'll be there.
If you ever realize your mistakes...
I'll be there.
If you ever notice the change...
I'll be there.
If you ever want to tell me how sorry you are...
I'll be there.
I've been through it all before, I've been there.

"Everyone is Gone"

Everyone is gone, I feel so alone.
I always seem to end up on my own.
I can never be close to those I love.
Take me away I pray, looking above.
I wipe these tears with a shaking hand.
I wish I was wiping away the sand.
Sand from a lazy beach away from here.
I dream of this, but I wish you were near.
The sickening cravings all come rushing back.
I guess it's time to pick up the slack.
I will always want something more than this.
This life won't do it, I need one sweet kiss.
So I say to myself, "Believe in you!"
It works for awhile, but it just won't do.
I dream of the day I can be with him.
My future isn't bright, it's all too dim.
I try to pretend everything is cool.
I always wind up looking like a fool.
I wonder where all my happiness is?
It is something that I don't want to miss.
When I'm waiting for sleep to come at night,
I imagine a world that is just right.
No fears and no confusion anywhere.
There is no anxiety there to bare.
I don't know if I can deal with the stress.
Save me dear lord, cause my life is a mess.
I have many feelings I want to show.
I love you more than you will ever know.
I sing to express how I really feel.
It saves me from everything that is real.
You will probably forget all about me.
But I won't forget how it's supposed to be.
Us together for all eternity.
This will never be, because you'll forget about me.

"Moon"

Like the moon, he is the most beautiful part of my night.
Like the floating clouds, his friends follow him where ever he goes.
Maybe they know the secret I know.
Like love, the soft breeze washes over me, leaving me peaceful after my frenzy.
Like the moon, he comes in second to the brightness of the sun.
But like the moon, he is first in preciousness to me.

"Empty Thoughts"

The same place,
and yet so different

Wish she didn't have blues eyes
Wish there weren't cloudy skies.

Couldn't believe 
The nerve of that guy
Right in front of her
Right in front of me
Couldn't he see 
his catastrophe?

Me and Emily
yeah, we groove
just like black and blond.

Honey is too sweet
these days
Feels like
I'm stuck in a haze 
of self regret
which envelopes me
and tightens around me 
to the point where 
I can't see me 
anymore.

The nerve of that guy
to do that to me
To leave me
like I don't matter
wouldn't I like to know
what's the matter
with me?

Maybe if he tried to listen
Maybe if my teardrops didn't glisten 
so loudly 
for everyone to see
maybe if I just went
back on my old day trip
to my secret world of
hide and go seek.
Then maybe my tears
wouldn't leak
out all my secrets
and maybe
I wouldn't lose another 
to stupid accusations
to trivial proclamations

Maybe I'm just sane
Maybe he's the one screwy in the brain.
Can everyone stay perfect forever?
Who does he think I am,
Mother Mary?
I don't think so...

Maybe he should just get a mirror 
and look in it.
Then maybe he'll realize the mistake 
that he made.
the mistake that kills 
an innocent girl.
The mistake that made me
into the same woman 
I always intended to be.

"So Much More Than This"

I'm hoping love is
so much more than this.

So much more than
yelling, 
fighting,
hating one another.

I'm hoping love is so much more than
all these things 
I have grown to know
from you and dad.

I'm hoping my love 
will be so much more than this
but so far it isn't.