Nancy Imelda Schafer

"Hi Baby... It's Me"

I am a person who saves everything.
Clothes, socks, old underwear with holes.
My first pair of Levi's are still tucked away somewhere.
I have every issue of Nintendo Power magazine ever printed.

They are my things, my stuff.
No one else cares about them but me.
As it should be.

Along with my momentos... are words.
Words spoken, I have kept.

My answering machine.

It holds 50 messages.
It's digital, so there is no tape.
Erase to make room for the new.
I have guarded it's battery backup like a mother hen.
Loose power with no batteries
and my messages are gone.

...

I met a Man November 29th, 1995.
Saying I loved him would do great injustice.
I loved and still love him with all I have ever been,
or could ever hope to be.
Unconditionally.

His messages, all of them spoken, are on that machine.
"Hi Baby," he say's in that GravelDog voice.
I have goose bumps now just thinking of it.
They are all there.
"I love you Baby, give Libbie a hug for me."
"Hi Baby... looks like were playing telephone tag again, I love you."

Then one day...
he walked away.
But the messages remained.
1 thru 19 all his.

...

On April 29th, 1996, I met another Man.
His voice smooth, and calming.
It was his calm that quieted the storm from the previous voice.

I loved him as well.
He was a beacon in the darkest of tymes.
Everyday he would call me from 3000 miles away,
And talk for hours without regard to Ma Bell.

In my absence the machine would play when I got home;
"Hi Baby... it's me"
I've been thinking about you...
I love you... Bravado, Ciao."
In the background, he would play RUSH'S song Bravado.

When I took my solstice,
A tyme of deep cleansing for myself,
(Once a year for 3 weeks, I talk to NO ONE but myself)
He called nearly everyday;
"Hi Baby... I miss you... I love you... Bravado, Ciao."

Most tymes,
I would be standing right by the machine listening to him.
Once during solstice, I picked up the phone as he was saying;
"I hope your O.K., are you there?"
I picked up the phone and replied;
"I'm O.K. and NO I'm not really here," and hung up in his ear.

Still...
He was there in my machine when I needed him.
A dose of sanity in tymes of headbanging.

He would play a character he called "Farmer Todd."
An old horny guy who lusted after me.
He too would visit my machine, and make me laugh.

Then one day...
he walked away.
But the messages all remained...
20 thru 47.

...
.....
...

Tonight as I came home,
The light was flashing on my machine.
That means it has 50 messages on it.
Full.

3 people had called in my absence.
As I stood at the machine clicking the forward button,
I thought how silly this was to do this everytyme I get one call.
The new call is 48 and forwarding over 47 ahead of it was nuts.
I listened to the new call then deleted it.

By accident, my finger hit the play button,
and the messages began to play from the start.
I heard; "Hi Baby... it's 7:00 my tyme, 4:00 your tyme,
I just called to say I love you."

The sound of his voice...
All that he meant, means still, and ever will be forced me to sit and listen.
What I was listening to,
Were the voices of 1996.
The two men that I loved.

Message after message I listened.
Listened and cried.
"Hi Baby... It's Me."
"Hi Baby... I Love You."

...
.....
...

1 new, fresh 9 volt battery was installed.

...
.....
...

Tommorrow,
I go shopping for a new machine,
As the old one will remain forever filled with their voices.

....................................

"Hi Baby... It's Me"

Written by

Nancy Imelda Schafer

S.D./F.D. January 10, 1997

11:30 PM EST

Dedicated To RAS and TWT